A Beautiful Mess

Soiled in garden mud after a long Sunday afternoon spent pruning and caring for Sophie’s green friends, Thomas walked into the dark chambers of his little white cottage. He was too worn out to muster any energy to switch the lights on of the living room. All he could see through his dusty glasses was his rocking chair where he spent most of his time. “Thank God for gravity” he thought to himself as he dragged himself to the chair, slouched into it and kept on looking at the many colours of nail paint bottles arranged in a peculiar shape right on the table in front of the chair. The rocking chair was his little abode, something he always looked forward to be with. It was a gift from Sophie, his loving wife.

As he leaned back he felt her soft fingers caress his hair and a shrill sound reciting every minute detail of how the morning chores were more chaotic with him being around. The culmination of which was her disappointment of not being able to paint her nails. Sophie was always loud. For him; a flag bearer of sarcasm, someone who complaints about everything except nail paints that she seemed to particularly find as an immaculate creation tailored just for her nails. Everything else was flawed. Even during most intense conversations Sophie would be more concerned about the new nail colour she could possess & flaunt.

Thomas always had a levelled head on his shoulders so he mostly tried staying calm contrary to Sophie’s storming noise that echoed all across the little cottage. The cherry on top were their four kids, a spitting image of his dear wife and very much to their mother in traits too. Every Friday, like a devout husband Thomas coated his wife’s nails in a tint he liked and in return she fixed his grey hair. Evenings were spent in the kitchen where she cooked while he chopped & helped with seasoning the grill. Then the running around, grabbing each of those four little ones from their hide outs, laying the table, saying grace and finally enjoying their humble supper. For Sophie a small prayer before the meal was essential. She wouldn’t allow anyone to start before grace was said and she’d somehow trained the little ones to obey at least to this one rule if not anything else.

Saturday mornings were all about a chaotic morning coffee & chatter from all four corners of the house. John & Tom 6, Claire 5 & Dan 8, all up before time, Sophie screaming her lungs out and Thomas struggling to hold his newspaper firm thought to himself “How did I end up in this situation? Why did I ever decide to place that ring on her finger? The ring has now become a ‘Suffering’. I really fell for her beauty just to have this mess. Can’t believe I’m living in this Mess now or may be I should say in this “Beautiful mess”. Lord save my soul!!” followed by inhalation & exhalation of two long deep breaths, that was a self consolation mechanism for him & back to normal.

Suddenly, everything was still & calm, like the calm after a Tsunami. He noticed Sophie staring at him as if she would want to shoot him point blank. He knew this was a life and death situation and to escape anymore tormenting sounds he had to immediately attend to the four junior “Sophies” who had already ruined a good portion of her garden.

As she kept on staring, she thought to herself “These four are just to their Father- A complete mess. Their sense of awareness is worth questioning. Why Lord did I ever think of accepting that ring – the suffering!!”

Thomas knew the only solution to his vinegar tempered wife was just some extra attention & of course a new nail colour bottle that would keep the sanity of the house extended to a couple of weeks. So he’d get her one new colour every fortnight.

Years went by, the chaos became a normal part of their daily lives and the four offshoots of this beautiful mess grew even bigger than the long list of complaints that Sophie read out loud & clear every Sunday morning.

Now it was only the two in the ‘Suffering’ trying to find each others glasses, refilling water bottles, checking on medicines, spending more time in the garden, visiting some odd museums and waiting anxiously to see their grand children run around that lovely garden over the weekends. Thomas had made peace with the chaos & Sophie spent more time talking to her green friends. There were those spells of utter silence where both sat in the garden gazing at the vast blue sky yet knowing what the other was feeling. It was beautiful.

One Friday evening, Sophie sat on the rocking chair contemplating on the time they’d spent together, hundreds of thoughts swirling in her head and as she leaned forward to grab her favourite nail colour she could see Thomas working on his laptop, glaring at the stock market trends and mumbling something to himself. After being tied together for 45 years now, Thomas could sniff his wife’s feelings even from a long distance. Words now played no role in their ‘Beautifully Messed’ lives. So he got up, went close to his wife, took the nail lacquer bottle and as part of his Friday routine painted her nails.

Sophie being her good self said sarcastically “Years now, yet you’ve only been messing up with the application of my nail paint. I’ve been generous to put up with your ‘mess’; to which Thomas replied with a smile – “Let me correct you darling, it’s a ‘Beautiful Mess’ like you. Come on now you’ve got to fix my hair, I don’t want to look old & grey haired for my date tonight.”

A loud thunder shook Thomas -“WHO IS SHE?” roared Sophie.

Thomas for the first time gathered all the courage he could’ve ever had, grabbed his wife’s arm and pulled her close to him and said “She is A Beautiful Mess”.

That evening was quite special.

It was the last time Thomas chopped the vegetables and seasoned the grill while Sophie cooked, it was the last time he saw his Beautiful Mess laying the table and saying grace before the supper.

Thomas never knew that soon Sophie would be gone forever way before him. Now she wasn’t there, the shrill noise, the chaos, the chatter, the sarcasm, that look, everything was just gone. He had nothing to think or do as if it was that Beautiful Mess that kept him busy. Sundays were the same but he liked it in many ways because he could throw himself into that rocking chair, gazing at the nail paint colours, some hundreds collected by Sophie and that sight helped him go into slumber where he could see Sophie in the kitchen enlisting the complaints for the day, little ones running around and finally feel those soft fingers caressing his hair.

People fade, love stays.

It was Love alone that kept Thomas going on even after Sophie left. Love alone kept them together through good & bad times. Love brought with it loyalty, resilience, consistency and faith that helped both live a Beautifully messed up life.

After many years of togetherness attraction fades away, that means there has to be more than physical attraction that keeps such couples so loyally together. Growing old together is a bitter-sweet experience but if it was love that brought you together then it’s absolutely worth it because true love is never skin deep, it only lets each other evolve and grow.

I’m just glad to be a ‘Sophie-Thomas’ Junior- A beautiful mess.

@celina